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BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH


The following 'speech' was written recently by an ordinary Maineiac [a resident of the People's Republic of Maine]. While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living. The speech George W. Bush might give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Now some of you morons are considering another and more evil Clinton for president !!!! Go figure that one!! She wants to take your kids away and let the 'Whole Village' raise them! i.e. governmental indoctrination .. Look this one up you dumb asses!

The rest of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nucular ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to reelect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nucular weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.


PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
 

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I'm going to stick with the whole theory about saying nothing if you don't have anything nice...

Damn it, I can't help myself....

I'm sick to death of this horse shit about if you’re not for the republicans your for the terrorists. What kind of crap is that...haven't American always been taught to question the motives of our government. Come on, we as a nation were formed by brave men and woman that were willing to exam the yoke that the control of the English monarchy clamped around our necks.

And were there not those loyalists, who just like now said, that if you’re not for your king, you’re a traitor to you country...Do you folks remember what we did to them...we drove them into the damn Atlantic Ocean (metaphorically speaking).

The President and his ilk (including the entire congress of the United States, Democrat and Republican alike) have turned The Statue of Liberty into a whore, AND I'M SICK OF IT. They are killing this country with this partisan bullshit.

And as for those Americans out there who think that things aren't that bad, come to Michigan. See the faces of the American Axel workers who had to take damn near 50 cents on the dollar in order for the plant to reopen. They broke 'em, and you’re next. Don't think that won't spread faster than the clap at a GI brothel. Come to Michigan and see the 5 PAGES of home foreclosures in my little 15 page home town newspaper. It's bad here and it's going to get worse, because we have the largest assembled host of parasites that Washington DC has ever seen (and our state capitol, Lansing, MI, is just as bad).

You want to know why they have by the short hairs??? It has been within the last 10-15 years that more people live in cities than in rural areas. Think about what that means. You have more people that CAN'T in tuff times hunt, fish, grow substantial gardens, and in some cities even own hand guns. If things get bad, what can city folk do, team up and loot??? They are dependent on the government to keep the system in place. The same system that slowly drains them of any resources and hand feeds them just enough to survive.

You want to get people off welfare, put them to work on the family farm. Teach them to garden, to hunt, to fish, to be self sufficient. That's the back bone of this country. That's what keeps the government in check, because the government has always realized that the people will get by without them. Sure it would be hard scrabble, but people could do it, neighbor banding with neighbor to make it work for as long as folks needed it too...But not anymore, the government has all the cards now, and they know it. Because the handy man is a dying breed, the woman who can run a household is getting very hard to find. Hell, we don’t even take things to a repairman anymore; we just throw stuff out and buy new.

You want us against them...try THE PEOPLE AGAINST THE TREASONOUS BASTARDS THAT ARE RUNNING THIS COUNTRY. Like G. Gordon Liddy said, “Aim for the head the bastards are wearing body armor.”

You better believe I’m stocking up on guns and ammo, and it’s not because I think the government is going to ban them…It’s because I think we’re going to need them (sooner or later).

Crap...well at least I got that off my chest.
 

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Well said. I also have many guns and lots of bullets.
 

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After the accusations of him being a cowboy, I have always wanted to see him stroll into Congress blasting six-shooters in the air with a huge wad of chaw in his mouth. Then use the same guns to propel himself into the air like Yosemite Sam.

I learned a long time ago that if people are going to call you an asshole, may as well act the part. It's fun.
 

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Teach is the magic word, they don’t want to learn because someone gave it to them for being stupid :roll:
 

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Johngoboom, while I whole-heartedly agree with what you are saying, I disagree that you can teach people to be self sustaining....the government for the past 60 years has seen to that. As was said, they don't want to be self sustaing, because they have had it pounded into their thick skulls that they will be taken care of with very little effort on their part. You cause is extremely noble, but, I fear it is too late for noble causes....about 300 years too late.....
 

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That's why I stock up on stuff that goes bang Wizard...

I think it too late for that too, I'm just waiting for the masses to turn into a mob...

Sooner or later that damn is going to bust, and when it does, stand back.
 

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At times, I have great difficulty believing you are liberal.....we think so much alike on some issues....this being one of them..... :D
 

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paranoia is not in my vocabulary.....keep your house safe and secure and your neighbors will respect that. What is that big ''ole boom'' sound down there at mrb's house ?...Thugs ride the easy street. I dont try to intimidate .....but a little respect for what I am trying to instill is greatly appreciated......We must endure ....and then overcome in Christ's name . Lord knows how we have failed in an attempt to please Him. He forgives.
 
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