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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag

Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 10 years and 45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do driver's education classes in ******* schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on a vacation? A different bar.

What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment

What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.

How do you get a sweet 80 year old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
 

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I'm tellin' you we should call you 'wise guy'. Good ones Terry. :lol:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Well how about this one then:

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the wedding, they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about lovemaking?" he asked, rather hopefully.

"Well, I'd have to say I like it infrequently," she responded.

The old guy paused, then he asked, "Was that one word or two?"
 

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**** 4 stars for a good laugh. :lol:
 

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I used more energy laughing at these than I did mowing the yard earlier...I'm goin' to bed....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
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