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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I just left the hospital, and it wasn't good. Wife would not wake up to talk to me. Last night we at least had a few short talks between dozes. Doctors say she's drinking very little and hasn't eaten for four days. Her average BP is 90 over 50. Their best guess is maybe four days, maybe less.

I'm totally POed at my bank. Put in to roll her best IRA into checking, over a week ago. All I'm hearing is that it's "in process". They got a notarized letter with her giving permission. The letter fully explained the situation. The signature wasn't very good, but with notary it shouldn't matter. I now have very little to offer the funeral home and cemetery.

Then I've got a thousand things to do, cancelling and transferring things, and removing a mountain of stuff from the house. I'll never get it done. Plus, I'm 65 in about a month, so I have Social Security, Medicare, etc. to do; stopping hers and starting mine......I'm ending my job at the end of the month. That stops all of my insurance until Medicare kicks in, and I hear right now that it's very slow.

Sorry to rattle on, I'm not looking for anyone's tears. I appreciate anything you guys post. I look at my usual online spots several times a day; seems to help me stay more sane.
 

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As I remember we applied for Medicare 3 months before we hit 65 as that was what they told us to do. If you haven't applied then do it now. You could COBRA your employer coverage until Medicare kicks in.

I wouldn't worry too much about the house until after you are retired focus on getting done what you have to get done today and what is important to you, like time comforting your wife.

Prayers for you both.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
PM to you
 

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Nothing I can do but tell you I will pray for you, your wife and your family. I had to do much the same but with me making sure everything is set up for my wife. I'll probably retire and just consult starting Jan 1. I'm lucky to have our HR dept helping me with every step so my wife will not have to do much of anything other than letting one of our HR staff take care of anything needed when the time comes.
I don't sleep anymore, and I know everyone says this, if you (or her) want someome to just rant at and vent, I would be proud to do that.
PM me if that or anything else you may need and I'll send you my contact information
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks, Brando. She passed this morning, and I'm dealing with it. I'd love to have her ranting at me right now.
 

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Bearcatter, my deepest sympathies to you. Please reach out to us if you need any help, or just a person you can vent to.
 

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Thanks, Brando. She passed this morning, and I'm dealing with it. I'd love to have her ranting at me right now.
I prayed for her/you/family this afternoon and will add all to my prayers tonight. You are a good man and a good husband. May God grant you/family, his Grace.
 

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I'm sure sorry to hear about your Wife, bearcatter.
Praying that our Father will provide comfort and peace for you and your family.
 
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As I remember we applied for Medicare 3 months before we hit 65 as that was what they told us to do. If you haven't applied then do it now. You could COBRA your employer coverage until Medicare kicks in.

I wouldn't worry too much about the house until after you are retired focus on getting done what you have to get done today and what is important to you, like time comforting your wife.

Prayers for you both.
That is how I remember it as well!
 

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Sorry for your loss Bearcatter! Praying for you through these tough times!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Idiot banking. We had most of our cash in one of her IRAs, needed to transfer it for me to use for her expenses. Bank told me what to write out, and wife signed it, with a notary in the hospital room (that cost me $60) Then bank faxed it off. Week and a half later, bank calls today and says it's okayed, but now that she passed they have to have her death certificate first. WHY ? They already had her notarized permission ! ! ! Bank manager says it's just what they require. If I had not told that she was gone, I'd have probably been okay, but manager did ask how my wife was, and I couldn't lie.

So I got her started with the funeral home picking her up today, director said he'd get a certificate turned in ASAP. In VA, the funeral home does the original and sends it to the hospital. Then back to funeral home who gives it to me, however many I want. $12 apiece. After 30 days it's only at the health department.
 

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You'll need more of the certificates than you realize.

As to the bank they will throw up road blocks just so they can make 20 cents interest on your money.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Oh, I've realized how many, in searching for her account IDs and passwords . I'm guessing if I get 15 there may be a couple left over. It may not be so bad, as some places might be happy with one faxed or attached in email. Her credit cards are all auto pay, and only one has a balance. For them I'll just let the cards expire and ignore new ones.
 

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I would send a letter to them closing any in her name only especially with them on auto pay. If you can I would take them off auto pay. No excuse then if some hacker gets hold of the number. You can call first but best to document it afterwards. I went thru a lot when my mother passed and wrote letters as her executor to her creditors, etc.

Just trying to help my friend so if it's coming off wrong then just tell me to STFU.
 

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Bcatter I'm sending my deepest sympathy to you. I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you were going through this life change. Please try to stay in touch and post when you are able. Prayers!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Just trying to help my friend so if it's coming off wrong then just tell me to STFU.
No way you come off wrong, Terry. I've appreciated every word.

Turns out she only had two active cards, and I froze both of them. Neither expires for about two years, but most cards close if unused for several months. That should do the job. Sprint is my next headache. Gotta drop two lines out of three. Plus they're trying to jam a smart phone on me with their 5G rollout BS in January. My phone is 4G and will work fine except for internet. Unless Sprint uploads some change to kill it and screw me. Who surfs the web with a flip phone anyway?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Bcatter I'm sending my deepest sympathy to you. I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you were going through this life change. Please try to stay in touch and post when you are able. Prayers!
I appreciate that. The more I get done, the better I do. Took care of bank changes today; funeral home and cemetery tomorrow. The two biggest loads on my brain. Lots of smaller tasks yet.
 

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I have a hard time commenting on news like this. I know that if I lost my wife as you have I would be a total mess. I wish there was something I could do that would help. Just know that you are valued here in our small group. Any time you need to vent, rant, or just shoot the bull this is the place for it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanx, RCB. How many people these days know what SeaBees do? A tough job, especially trying to do it while getting shot at.

I just appreciate reading whatever people post. Doesn't matter about what. It gives me a break from the long list of stuff that has to get done. I've done the two worst, accessing money, and making her arrangements. Finished that this afternoon. She has a nice space right next to her father and mother. Sheer luck, or divine intervention, that three spots were still open there. They were buried in the Nineties.
 
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