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I was just thinking that probably what's up with me is more grief related than anything. Parents are two people who generally love you unconditionally. I butted heads with both of my parents at times but never once did I doubt their love for me. They were old and it was their time. I'm just missing them the same as I would if this would have happened when they were much younger. They moved across the street from us 38 years ago so have always been close by. I have to be patient with my emotions and feelings. It will get better and I'm aware of that. This forum is not the place for me to vent these kinds of things. You guys have been great friends and I like it here, obviously. If I were to ever meet any one of you I'd be comfortable and glad. I have only lost my dog Muffy and have gone through a divorce which is similar but even more traumatic and also affects the children that you love so much. This is really my first taste of the finality of death. My husband Richard is a wonderful man and husband yet I always fear - simply because I've gone through one failed marriage that I thought would last forever. He's here, he loves me, and I love him. I've learned so much from him - big man, big heart. Prayer too always brings peace. So, thanks for listening and I'll spare all of you in the future.
 

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We're here for you anytime, Natalie. Rant away, we don't mind. ;)
 

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If we ain't family it's 'cause you won't claim us...and family always cares...and always listens.....
 

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you holler anytime you want to................ ;)
it feels good at times to just hammer the keys hard to get it off your chest and vent-----i think its kind of theraputic to do so as i always seem to feel a bit better after typing. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
sheepdog said:
If we ain't family it's 'cause you won't claim us...and family always cares...and always listens.....
You have so been 'claimed'. You will one day wish to become 'unclaimed' but it will be too late. :D
 

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deputy125 said:
you holler anytime you want to................ ;)
it feels good at times to just hammer the keys hard to get it off your chest and vent-----i think its kind of theraputic to do so as i always seem to feel a bit better after typing. :)
Thanks deputy. You're okay which mean I'm okay - isn't that what that old book said?
 

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Natalie said:
I was just thinking that probably what's up with me is more grief related than anything. Parents are two people who generally love you unconditionally. I butted heads with both of my parents at times but never once did I doubt their love for me. They were old and it was their time. I'm just missing them the same as I would if this would have happened when they were much younger. They moved across the street from us 38 years ago so have always been close by. I have to be patient with my emotions and feelings. It will get better and I'm aware of that. This forum is not the place for me to vent these kinds of things. You guys have been great friends and I like it here, obviously. If I were to ever meet any one of you I'd be comfortable and glad. I have only lost my dog Muffy and have gone through a divorce which is similar but even more traumatic and also affects the children that you love so much. This is really my first taste of the finality of death. My husband Richard is a wonderful man and husband yet I always fear - simply because I've gone through one failed marriage that I thought would last forever. He's here, he loves me, and I love him. I've learned so much from him - big man, big heart. Prayer too always brings peace. So, thanks for listening and I'll spare all of you in the future.
Take yourself into your closet and pour your tears out.Nobody else but you.....these are true tears. God knows your hurt. I got a phone call from my wife in the late 80's that hit me like a ton of bricks. My mother had left this earth and gone to be with Our Lord Jesus Christ. I dont show my emotions a whole lot in front of people for the simple fact that I think I'm stronger than that. My children have never seen me cry....untill I felt the hurt of the reallity of loss of loved ones. Be of good cheer !!!!!.....Christ has overcome this world !
 

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Every single time that I'm in church I'm fighting to keep the flood gates closed. The tears stream down every time I receive Our Lord in Communion. I can't help it. I can't cry just to cry but when it happens its a surprise. Something triggers thoughts of my mom or dad and there I am no matter who is there. I can't hardly talk about them without choking up. My brother told me to have a good cry and I know it would do me good. I'm female and it should be easy but for me it's not. I need to drive out to their gravesite and sit. Rich goes back to work tomorrow so that's on my agenda although I'm sure I'll put it off and don't know why. Guess I'm waiting for grass to be put down. I want to be with them alone. I also feel stuck in 'do nothing' mode. I have to force myself to do the things that I must do but my heart is never in it. I know that Jesus is the answer yet I have never been so far away from Him before. It's like He ditched me but I know it's really more the opposite. This internal stuff that I carry around is new and strange. Time and my faith are the healing factors I guess.

I really can't believe how kind and understanding you guys have been. It has touched my heart and I won't forget.
 

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Natalie said:
Every single time that I'm in church I'm fighting to keep the flood gates closed. The tears stream down every time I receive Our Lord in Communion. I can't help it. I can't cry just to cry but when it happens its a surprise. Something triggers thoughts of my mom or dad and there I am no matter who is there. I can't hardly talk about them without choking up. My brother told me to have a good cry and I know it would do me good. I'm female and it should be easy but for me it's not. I need to drive out to their gravesite and sit. Rich goes back to work tomorrow so that's on my agenda although I'm sure I'll put it off and don't know why. Guess I'm waiting for grass to be put down. I want to be with them alone. I also feel stuck in 'do nothing' mode. I have to force myself to do the things that I must do but my heart is never in it. I know that Jesus is the answer yet I have never been so far away from Him before. It's like He ditched me but I know it's really more the opposite. This internal stuff that I carry around is new and strange. Time and my faith are the healing factors I guess.

I really can't believe how kind and understanding you guys have been. It has touched my heart and I won't forget.
I got kinda numb myself when it hit me....God knows our sorrow. He is our support when we get a little ticked off about why it didn't go our way.
 
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