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4,294 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Borrowed from elsewhere:

1. When one door closes and another one opens, you're probably in prison.
2. At my age "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 p.m. is the new midnight.
4. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
5. When I say "the other day", I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
6. I remember being able to get up without sound effects.
7. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
8. I finally got 8 hours of sleep. It took me 3 days.....
9. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and can't decide whose side I'm on.
10. I run like the winded.
11. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on aluminum cans ?
12. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get too excited.
13. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
14. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
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